GAY TEENAGER

As a teenager i was terribly confused, moody and full of Sh!t. LOL :( My poor perants.....

I suppose it all had to do with coming to tums with who i was. I realised at a young age that i was different to other boys my age. Girls did not interest me at all. Where as my friends could not stop talking about the girls in our class or in school.

What goes through your mind as a youngster not knowing what gay is. Not understanding the emotions inside your changing body. Parent should understand that it is hard enough as a teenager with changing hormones, your voice changing, getting pimples hair growing every where, etc. That's just normal for teenagers. But hang on, being a confused teenager not knowing what the hell is going on inside your mind, having feelings towards the same sex. That's chemistry for an explosion.

I use to fight of any desire i had for another boy. Thinking that its just a stage I am going through. But as time went on I came to the scary realisation that these feelings are not going away at all they are becoming stronger. The desires almost uncontrollable. LOL!!

Gay teenagers feel alone, that they can not talk to any one about their feelings. They are scared that at school they will not be accepted by their piers.

Depression is often seen in teenagers, but more so in gay teenagers. Studies has shown that suicide is more common amongst gay teenagers.

The only way i could cope as a teenager was to deel with the emotions day by day. I had no one i could turn to for advise, nor did i know of any other gay kid or adult close to me. There was no such thing as the Internet, IM, blogs or even books i could refer to for help.

Being gay, and in South Africa made me realise that Apartheid did not only effect people of colour, but people with different sexual orientations as well. There was no gay literature in libraries, in book shops or even in sleazy pornographic shops, lol, yes i even looked there.

So i had to deal with my emotions, my desires, and my fears all by myself. look at the bright side, gay kids today have a whole social network they can turn to. They can join Internet groups where they can discuss issues that concern them. There is teenage gay sites. All this is good and well. It still does not take away the fears of being accepted in society, by your family or your friends.

I lost my best friend after sixteen years of friendship when I told him i was gay. So the fears are real. One needs to accept that people are different and are entitled to their own perspective or opinions in live. Some accept you others don't.

Do not waist your energy on people that does not accept who you are. Poor your energy into people that care for you.

Remember all people have fears, no one is perfect. Love yourself for who you are.

Being Gay

Is it the lust for the same gender as one self? Is it detesting ones sexuality and wanting to be all that a man or women can be?

When I told my parent that I was gay, the fist question that they asked was’ so do you wear dresses now’. I had to sit them down and explain that it does not always mean being gay wants to be the other sex. It is quite simple actually, I am a man who likes to be in the company of other men, not always sexual but as normal heterosexuals will have relationships.

My Dad had it really hard accepting the fact that his son is now gay. I took him out for a beer one day and asked him what his concerns where. Thinking back now it was hilarious but for him it was a real and burning issue. He grew up in a society where it did not exist.

He thought that all gay men dress up in drag, wear make-up and prancy feet around.
I had to explain that yes there are drag queens, but they are out there to have fun and make a mockery of everything. It took me a while to explain to him that there are big differences in being a Transvestite to being gay, from being fem or butch.

One has to except who you are. Once you have accepted yourself you can help the people around you except you. It is not always easy, especially where religion plays a big part of the choice so to speak. Be at peace with who you are and know that god accepts you for who you are.

I am usually asked why I chose to be gay. It is not a choice it is who you are. I normally answer them that if I had a choice I would have been heterosexual. Would I go through all the suffering, being mocked at school or in public as a choice? Not being accepted in a restaurant or a club because of your sexuality? Of course that’s FUN LOL.

Being gay is not a choice its part of who you are. We are still the same son and daughter we where. We just have an attraction to the same sex. Does that make us that different to heterosexuals? Does that take our rights away of being happy and in loving relationships? No. Does that mean we can not bring children up in a loving caring stable environment?

I do not differentiate myself from heterosexuals; I still do my sports at a “normal” sports club. I still play rugby with the straight boys. Of course I just love seeing the look on their faces when my lover arrives at the club.

But we are all different from being butch, fem, being a luscious lesbian to scary butch girls. The most important aspect is that you love the person who you are. Respect your elders, your piers and friends.

It took me a while, a very long while to accept who I am. It does not happen over night.

In future I will go into more detail on other subject. This was only my intro.